NFL week 5 Quick Picks!

Ah, busy week, what is one to do?  Well, first, one is to show how boastful one doesn't necessarily have to be after being more accurate on predictions then the Swami.   Best Bets continue to get better at best, as Trizz went 9-5 last week in some kind of ridiculous reversal of fortune.  Finally my vast knowledge of everything football became so evident.  Blake is busy partying and dating less than mediocre looking women, so here I am, alone again.   Last week I was the only one who told you that the Mcnabb and the 'Skins would get revenge on the Eagles (Thank you Vick's karma) and that the Steelers would no longer remain undefeated by the end of the day...so what I'm saying is that you should see what the future beholds, be it for fantasy sake or your wishes to see teams you like succeed by reading my quick picks for week 5...  So without further adue...

Jacksonville @ Buffalo

Popular perception is that this is a battle between two of the worst teams in the NFL.  Not quite true, the Jaguars proved how good they can be against an unsuspecting Colts team last week, they are average to the maximum as they look to go 8-8 again this year.  Of course, Buffalo has to win some time... Jags win 27-17 over the Bills as Buffalo waits for it's snowfield advantage.  Buffalo is favored for no particular reason which makes this a BEST BET

New York Giants @ Houston

Oh yeah, that's right, I also tried to tell you people that I wasn't just being a fan, and it wasn't about how good the Giants are, and that the Bears were going to lose last week, badly.  It happened.  Unfortunately for the Giants they have to face a good AFC team now (the real conference) and although the Giants could beat the Cowboys on any weekend, who just beat the Texans 2 weeks ago...  The Texans have so much momentum and their versatility on offense can help to negate that Giants pass rush.  If this is a low-scoring game, than Eli tends to do great in the 2-minute drill and the Giants will have a chance to pull it out.  However, I'm foreseeing a high-flying high-scoring, mostly passing affair and although the quarterbacks are similiarly talented, the rest of the Texans offense is better.  Arian Foster will be the best running back on the field, Andre Johnson the best receiver and Owen Daniels the best tight end.  Houston Texans 34 New York Giants 27

Kansas City @ Indianapolis

Everyone else will pick the Colts and with good reason.  The chiefs are explosive, great on the ground (the Colts biggest weakness on defense) and their coaching staff is clearly getting the most out of the talent they posess.  The thing is that no one believes that Peyton Manning will let his team drop below .500 and let a less talented Chiefs team continue to go undefeated.  I don't just want to be different, I told you from the beginning that the Colts weren't going to win as many games as they usually do and that they would be a wild card team at best... so even though Peyton wills his team to victory often, I don't think he has enough talent around him any longer, even his offensive line has been struggling.  Thomas Jones and Jamaal Charles are about to rip it up... This is not to say that the Chiefs are the best team in football, only that this is going to be one hell of a weird year in the NFL... The Chiefs humiliate the Colts by a total of 23-20 because SOMEONE has to go 4-0 this year.          

Tampa Bay @ Cincinnati

The Bengals lost to the Browns last week, a team previously beaten by the Bucs.  In the crazy NFL world of cycles and circles, the Bengals need to bounce back and they will.  The Bengals offense has been so much worse than expected (thanks to Carson Palmer) and the Bucs defense has been solid for the most part.  Who cares!  Bengals win 20-10 over Bucs. 

Denver @ Baltimore

The Broncos looked impressive last week, in this new-found passing league, and league of parody, the Broncos can win against other less than to above average teams on any given week.  Kyle Orton is a consistent quarterback and he looks even better when you look at how bad his receiving corps is.  the Ravens have had one of the best defenses all season and now they're finally starting to score.  Flacco matured 18 years with his last second touchdown pass to Housh to beat the previously unbeaten Pittsburgh Steelers.  I didn't pick the Ravens to go to the playoffs because I thought their defense had dropped off a bit and I had no idea how good Anquan Boldin was (he certainly got lost behind Fitzgerald in Arizona), nor do I think Flacco is very good.  I still don't know if I would make them the favorite, or an elite team, but I do know that the Broncos can't compete.  Ravens make it look hard, but win easily 30-24.  How did the Broncos score that much?  Two words...Brady Quinn.

St. Louis @ Detroit

As with everyone picking the Colts to win this week, I don't know anyone who is not picking the Lions to take this game.  Everyone thinks the Rams are in the worst division (which they are) and that they are not only lucky to be 2-2, but that they are awful, playing way over their ability level.  Sam Bradford can't be that good, a team in the NFC west can't go 3-2 and the Rams can't win without their best player in Stephen Jackson.  On top of all that, the Lions (especially on offense) have looked fantastic in finding every way possible to lose.  They have not lost a step behind their back up QB, Shaun Hill (whom the Rams known from his time on the 49ers) and their defense actually has a pass rush.  Because the Lions don't deserve to be 0-4 and the Rams are a surprising 2-2, EVERYONE is going to pick the Lions with their logic, and their hearts (after they got screwed in week one, IT WAS A CATCH!).  Each game is different and the Rams match up beautifully.  The Rams get no respect as the Lions are actually favored, PFFT.  St. Louis Rams defeat the Detroit Lions 22-13.   The Lions are cursed.  Even if they win it won't be by more than....ONE.   BEST BET.

Atlanta @ Cleveland

I hate the Falcons for no good reason, I think Matt Ryan is even less talented than Flacco, but possibly more overrated.  I can talk about how their offense is tired and old each and every week, and how their defense is weak and unable to stop teams in clutch situations.  Or I could just say that the Browns aren't good enough to beat a Falcons team that is on a roll, seeing as how the Browns don't have one thing going for them on offense.  I wanted to pick the Jags to upset the Colts last week and I will always regret not going with my instinct and/or gut on that one, but I think picking the Browns would have more to do with my heart and/or soul situation, not to mention it'd be dumb.  Once again, the Falcons will be picked by all, but this time, they're all most likely right.  Falcons win easily 34-17.  SO easily in fact that I have no choice but to stamp my approval on this one. BEST BET.   Although I've wasted my best bets so early on that I may pick an EXTRA BEST BET.   Only time, and scrolling down, will tell.

Chicago @ Carolina

There are some really great games today at 1pm mixed in with all the silly, non-competetive ones.  Last week, almost every game went down to the wire, which means blow-outs are becoming increasingly more unlikely.  The Panthers actually out-played the Saints last week in their 4th consecutive loss, and after how bad the Bears played against the Giants...  the win-less Panthers are favored by 3 points over the previously undefeated Chicago Bears!  Nonsense?  Perhaps if the Bears had Cutler at quarterback, as bad as he looked last week, back up Todd Collin can not throw the ball more than 15 yards down the field.  the Panthers defense is good, the Bears defense is great.  The real question is which offense will be more inept... Hmm... The Bears were a fraud all along, they'll be lucky to go 9-7 and fight for a postseason spot.  However, when Cutler comes back, their offense will look incredible every so often.  His head is still back in the Meadowlands somewhere though and Jimmy Clausen looks like he might actually be able to play a little.  I hope no one is forced to watch one snap of this awful game...  Panthers 16   Bears  9 ,  'Nuff said.

Green Bay @ Washington

Another fantastic game on fox, with no Pats or Jets game on, I encourage everyone to disregard CBS for today.  The Chiefs and Colts are the only game of any interest.  Meanwhile, the Packers offense hasn't looked as great as it should be in recent weeks, barely over-coming the Lions offense last week, and committing an absurd amount of penalties against the Bears the week before.  Apparently, losing a quality running back in Ryan Grant has had more of an impact than anyone could've expected, but that's not even the worst part for the Packers.  Their highly rated and touted defense featuring one of the best cornerbacks in Charles Woodson, the best outside linebacker in Clay Matthews, and a decent defensive line has been run over as of late.  They haven't been getting enough pressure on the cornerback and their bump n run coverage has been less effective than usual.  On the other side of the ball, the Redskins look awful when they win (as with last week) and up and down during a loss (as with against the Texans), they are clearly suffering from psychopsychziophootballphrenia.  I still think the NFC East is the best, if not the only good division in a bad NFC, and that the 'Skins can still play very good defense.  The Pack is favored by less than 3 because this game could go any and either way.  Mcnabb, Portis and the rest of the Redskins got up to play last week in honor of Mcnabb facing his former team, they put all of their emotion and efforts into that game, and Clinton Portis is out for this one.  The Packers will stop the run and Mcnabb's 2 touchdown passes will not be enough, nor will his mediocre mobility.  The Packers are just far too talented and due to live up to their potential and so here goes nothing...  The Packers DESTROY the Redskins by the score:  33-20.  I think the Giants, Eagles, Redskins and Cowboys will all finish 8-8 to 10-6, but this week doesn't bode well for that.

New Orleans @ Arizona

I have told you that the Cardinals are worse than the worst teams in the NFL in terms of talent all along, but that they do have one of the best head coaches.  For Ken Whisenhunt to have won a game with this team at this point is unbelievable to me, considering that without Kurt Warner, their offense has looked pathetic.  They rid themselves of their first round pick Matt Leinart (USC quarterbacks suck, I.E. Carson Palmer, Mark Sanchez in the future) and journeyman Derek Anderson has already worn out his welcome.  Breaking News Ken, you can't win with undrafted rookie quarterback Max Hall, nor with any other QB, you have NO talent whatsoever other than Fitzgerald.  Even Fitzgerald is proving to be overrated seeing how unsuccessful he's been when Kurt Warner has not been his quarterback.  The Saints barely beat two 0-4 teams in the Niners and Panthers...they have seemingly lost their magic.  And as bad as this seems for me, considering I really don't want the Falcons to win the division, the Saints have found the perfect remedy... another poor excuse for a team, in fact the worst NFL franchise in history, the Arizona Cardinals.  As usual, the Saints may make this closer than it should be, but they're only favored by 6 1/2.  The New Orleans Saints embarass the Cardinals 42-21.  BEST BET.  AGAIN.

San Diego @ Oakland

Gosh and Gee Wilikers.  The Chargers are a great example of how much parody exists throughout the league, one week they look unstoppable, the next week they are losing to an average or even bad team. (Yes, like the Chiefs)  One thing to keep in mind is that the Chargers have created a formula, win big at home, lose close away.  Also, the Raiders have been competeing hard all season, losing close games to very good teams (like last week against the Texans).  Gradkowski looks like he knows how to put at least 20 + points on the board and give his team a chance to win, and the Raiders defense isn't half bad.  Forget about how good the Raiders have looked at times, or how bad the Chargers have been on the road, the Chargers need to win this division game.  Although I thought the Colts needed to win under similiar circumstances last week and they lost, the Raiders could not stop an old lady from crossing the street, nor could they catch a cold.  Puns are fun.  Chargers 32  -- Raiders 23.

Tennessee @ Dallas

The Titans are dirty rascals according to Bronco's head coach Josh Mcdaniels.  Jeff Fisher responds by saying his team is merely being aggressive and playing hard until the whistle blows.  Vince Young continues to try to give away his starting job, Chris Johnson is not getting the 2,500 yards he wished for, but the Titans defense has kept them in every game thus far.  None of that matters, when the Cowboys are playing well they can beat anybody, unfortunately for them, they are obviously their own worst enemy.  In a war of penalties and a lack of discipline, this game could get ugly.  However one simple fact remains... The Cowboys have championship aspirations and they need to win this one a lot more than the Titans do...or do they?   The Texans are looking to go 4-1 and the Colts are still waiting in the wings, ready to pounce.  If the Cowboys witness their division foes lose in the earlier games, they may not feel as much pressure.  Ah, well...nevermind, that stuff doesnt matter either.  All that I know is that the AFC is better than the NFC but the Cowboys can play like an AFC team when they run the football with their 3 great half-backs, and the rest of the defense takes on the attitude of its dominant player, Demarcus Ware.  I can't see the Cowboys losing this one at home, while the Titans early struggles and inconsistency continues.  the Dallas Cowboys will win 20-19, Wade Phillips will look goofy, and the cheerleaders will be 20% hotter as compared to an ugly game.

Philadelphia @ San Francisco

Another week 5 NFL match-up, another good game between decent teams, another time where I must scream for you to go against the grain.  Everyone assumes that the Eagles can't win without Vick, and that the 49ers are just too good to go 0-4.  As well as the fact that their division is so bad, the division leading Rams at 2-2, are going to finish up at .500 at best, so the 49ers are not out of it.  However, No one is talking about how bad the 49ers defense has been against average offenses, how mediocre their star running back, Frank Gore has been, OR how they have to stick with Alex Smith at quarterback because their other quarterbacks are even worse.  Sometimes 0-4 can be a fluke, like with the Lions who have played well, but the Niners have been terrible.  Mike Singletary is proving that his style does not work without talent backing it up.  I thought the Niners couldn't go 0-3 or 0-4 and they did, I even picked them to win the division and haven't given up on that yet.  At 0-5, they still could turn their season around at some point...  but more importantly than the fact the 49ers have simply not played well is that the Eagles have been much better than expected.  They may only be 2-2 but they almost came back against the Packers, and they should've beaten the Redskins for all intents and purposes last week.  Their defense has brought pressure and looked extremely solid in coverage (People forget they still have Trent Cole and Asante Samuel).  But the reason everyone is picking the 49ers other than the fact that no one can see them going 0-5 or anyone else winning the NFC west...is because Michael Vick is out for the next few weeks.  Michael Vick is magic and he has been the MVP over the first 3 1/2 weeks of the season, I agree.  However, I know there has got to be a reason Andy Reid traded Mcnabb and wanted Kevin Kolb to be his starter.  Kolb deserved to win last week, and he played well under pressure as the game went on, he also had 2 300 yard passing games in his only 2 starts last year.  Kevin Kolb will come up HUGE, BIG TIME, RIDICULOUS.  Kevin Kolb will throw 3 touchdown passes to those amazing offensive weapons the Eagles have on offense like Lesean Mccoy, Jeremy Maclin and Desean Jackson.  Eagles take it, 34-24 over the 49ers as the underdog.  EXTRA EXTRA BEST BET!

Minnesota @ New York Jets

It's official, Bill Bellichick bought into his own hype, wanting to get rid of a problem before it became a big one, wanting to not deal with continuing contract negotiations through the season, believing his offense is a machine and Moss was nothing but a cog...(maybe he's right) but the Vikings just stole one of the best receivers in the game for a third round pick that might turn out to be a bust. (More of a chance than not.)  Favre was desperate for a big-time target with great hands that could open up the offense.  Not only will Percy Harvin benefit from being the number 2 guy again, but Adrian Peterson will not see nearly as much 8 in the box type of defenses.  I don't hate the Jets, and I must admit that they have looked real good recently, especially against the Patriots, but I still haven't drunk the cool-aid or bought into the excessive amount of hype.  All of a sudden it's as if the Ravens and Jets are definitively the two best teams in the NFL (when obviously the Steelers with Ben are) when this is already proving to be one of the most unpredictable NFL seasons ever.  The Vikings are not about to go 1-3 and give the Packers and/or Bears a chance to move up further in the standings, they'd rather gain some ground.  The Jets defense is still great, but the Vikings defense has not been given enough credit thus far.  It's the Vikings offense that has struggled, but I think Randy Moss's mere presence and arrival will be good enough to prodive a jolt, and some points in his first game.  It'll be close though, that's for certain.  The Jets offense has looked too good recently, LT is still old, Sanchez is still inexperienced, and their left guard position is about to get crushed by two giant guys named Williams.   Minnesota Vikings 17 - New York Jets 10.

Good luck football fanatics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!